I've decided to give out awards on my blog. It makes me feel powerful and important.
My brother and sister and I have come up with categories and assigned winners thereto.
A few post facto awards will be given out, since this is the first year that the Golden Platypus Awards exist.
The Golden Platypus Awards are called such because awards are often golden and I am a fan of the platypus.
If I could be any non-primate mammal, I would like to be a platypus. The platypus is the most confusing mammal in the world and I would like to be the most confusing something. The platypus: it looks like a cross between a beaver and a duck, it's a mammal but it lays eggs, it gives milk but doesn't have nipples so that the milk just leaks out of it's skin (which is the most disgusting thing I can think of right now), and it's poisonous. Why the hell not? I want to be a semi-aquatic mammal of justice.
So here they are - the Golden Platypus Awards:
Ingenious Design - Toyota's Prius 3 for it's solar powered cooling system
Sunshine that would normally make the car unbearably hot actually cools it down. Ha ha! The tables have turned! Ingenious.
Media Tip-Off - Markell Watson for Phineas & Ferb
Thank you, Markell, for introducing us to Phineas & Ferb. The three of us love it. And I have Jordanna watching is, too. Against her will.
Why Didn't We Think of This Sooner? - Old El Paso for Stand 'n' Stuff taco shells
I mean really. Hard shell tacos that don't fall over and lose all of their stuffing when they're put on a plate. Why didn't we think of this sooner?
Hottest Nerd - Zachary Quinto for his role as Spock in Star Trek
I don't know if Zachary himself is a nerd, but he's Spock. And he's hot. So he gets the award.
Badass of the Year -
Well, we really couldn't come to a decision on this one. So there will be three awards for this year: the Gold, Silver, and Bronze Platypus Awards in this category.
The Golden Platypus for Badass of the Year goes to Rain for his role as Raizo in Ninja Assassin
The Silver Platypus will go to Hugh Jackman for his title role in X-Men Origins: Wolverine
And the Bronze Platypus goes to Channing Tatum for his role as Captain Duke Hauser in G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
We also have a few ex post facto awards to give out.
In the category of Media Tip-Off, Alex 'Piggy' Poznanski for introducing us to the Potter Puppet Pals.
In the category of Why Didn't We Think of This Sooner?, awards go to the upside down ketchup bottle and wheels on a suitcase. Honestly, I can never believe that we put a man on the moon before we put wheels on a suitcase. What's up with that?
Anyone who would like to claim their award certificates, please email me and I will get a lovely certificate to you.
Happy New Year, kids!
